Why did I have all that beer and coffee and watermelon?
1. What do you hear right now?
Penelope Fucking Houston screaming No Martyr!!!
2. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
I can barely say it forwards! That “lmnop” part really confused the hell out of me in kindergarten!!!
3. Do you do drugs?
“Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke! (”I seen him!”) Now that’s an addiction… you ever suck some dick for marijuana!?” Stolen funny quote aside…no, laughter is my drug. And possibly Green Tea!
4. What do you use as an alarm in the morning?
The TV, my watch, the sun, “interesting” dreams…
5. Have you ever used a night-light?
In my room?! I don’t think I was ever that big of a wussy.
6. What’s the highest number you’ve ever counted to?
umm…500 as in cds? You thought I’d say “girlfriends” for a second there didn’t you!
7. Have you ever had the “clap-on, clap-off” lights?
No. They can’t tell the difference between clapping, masturbating, or rough sex.
8. What operating system do you use for your PC (Windows, Mac, etc)?
Windows 98 and it’s shit!
9. Do you have a custom CD player in your car?
Me?? CAR?!?! HAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
10. What about custom speakers?
See above.
11. If you could know when and how you would die, would you wanna know?
What makes you think I don’t already?!
12. Do you own a graphic calculator?
I would have to say no.
13. Do you turn off lights to save energy?
Yes…
14. Have you ever had a “brown-out”?
Is that some sort of innuendo?
15. Has food in your fridge ever gone bad because of a power outage?
No but the power goes out here all the fucking time! All it takes is a strong breeze… I’m not joking!!!
16. Is your car registration/insurance up to date?
Yes! Absolutely!
17. What kind of camera do you use to take pictures?
One of those olde tyme ones that uses gunpowder.
18. Do you use highlighters?
On occasion…I highlight words in the dictionary. Yeah!
19. Do you relate more to music with or without words?
Wordage is everything!
20. What do you think is/are the universal language(s)?
What is this “love” you speak of?
21. Can you count in any other language(s)?
bljeghbe`chugh vaj blHegh!!!
22. Do you wear Wranglers?
I probably have a pair or two. Jeans is jeans!
23. Have you ever ridden an elephant?
WHAT???? I think that’s the most random queston ever!!!
24. Do you know what causes “red tide”?
The blood of countless young soldiers.
25. Do you know what DNA stands for?
Deoxyribo Nucleic Acid. Now why don’t you ask me something really simple like the four states of matter!
26. Which is worse, a baby that won’t stop crying or a dog that won’t stop barking?
Depends on the baby or type of dog. My sister could shatter glass!!!
27. What kind of deoderant do you use?
Whatever brand I have at the time.
28. Do you know what RAM stand for?
Random Access Memory. What’s with all the acronyms?
29. Would you rather have sex 5 times a day or 5 times a year?
This has to be just about the stupidest question ever…
30. Would you rather listen to a boring lecture or classical music all day?
Depends on what the lecture is about or who the composer is.
31. Do you know what THC stand for?
You can stop with those now.
32. Do you know WHY 420 is the stoner’s number?
People used to say that’s police code but that’s bullshit. I think it’s a Grateful Dead reference. But then again WHO GIVES A FUCK!!!!
33. Do you know what makes liquid cocaine?
My dad.
34. Look at these numbers sexually: 69 and 68 … what’s the difference?
One is one away from fun.
35. Do you know what the difference between a weed pipe and a meth pipe is?
Quit with all the stupid fucking drug questions already!
36. Do you take online quizzes?
Sometimes out of boredom.
37. Are you adopted?
Do you know something I don’t? PLEASE say I am!!!
38. Would you ever adopt a child?
Better than actually having one of my own.
39. Do you say ‘never’ and ‘always’ a lot?
I would never use the same words always constantly.
40. What’s the worst situation you ever fucked something up in the microwave?
Was that question in english???
41. Has anyone ever ‘pants’ed you?
Nah I’m too cool for skool.
42. Are you superstitious?
I’m not a politician. And I wouldn’t build a fort to defend who I am. But I’m not religious…without Catholocism.
43. Have you ever played ‘7 minutes in heaven’?
Only SEVEN minutes???
44. Do you use smilies? ;-P~
Yep.
45. Do you use scratch paper?
Huh???
46. Fingers or toys?
hahaha…not around the children, honey!
47. Do you own a vase?
I own a basket case.
48. What’s yer choice search engine?
Google…do you “google yourself”?
49. Do you use icons to explain how you feel?
Didn’t you JUST ask if people use smilies?!
50. Is it hard for you to apoligize when you do something wrong?
Nope. Not at all!
51. How do YOU pronounce ‘advertisement’ - AD-ver-tize-mint, ad-ver-TIZE-mint, or ad-VER-tiz-mint?
Popup blocker.
52. Do you have an accent?
A little bit. I’ve managed to avoid sounding like an ignorant hick though!
53. Do you buy lickable or stickable stamps?
Stickable… Lickable is like…old underwear or something!
54. Do you keep your CDs in their original cases or a CD book?
Cases, organized, alphabetical, by release date.
55. Do you believe we need to save the whales?
Why did I read “shave”?
56. What about the rainforests?
Fuck corporate greed.
57. How many ashtrays are in your house?
About 1000…my parents are disgusting!
58. Do you wear a belt/belts?
Sometimes. Anyone that wears a white belt should be shot though!
59. Have you ever gone to traffic school?
Nnnnnnnope.
60. Did you ever ride on the yellow bus?
Is this more innuendo?
61. Do you think everything tastes like chicken?
Only……..no comment.
62. Do you prefer clickable pens or pens with caps?
Clickity click.
And once again I deleted the questions that have been asked to the Nth degree!!!
